Trashbin Hotel
by Bunny Fair
Summary: This is a parody and based off the many, many shitty nicknames and descriptions that Hazbin has gotten. I do not support or codone any of these names or descriptions


Charlie yawned widely as she slowly walked into the hotel lobby, a cup of hot cocoa in hand. She rubbed her eye and sat on the couch, grabbing the remote off the table. She silently thanked Alastor and his redesign of the hotel. A new couch and television was more than needed but she was still grateful.

She flipped through some channels and blinked at the front of the hotel on the news, the bright 'Hazbin Hotel' sign on the screen. Straightening up, she smiled widely and turned up the volume. And then, Katie Killjoy began speaking.

Katie had that wide, toothy grin on her face as she spoke, papers gripped tighty in her hands. "And onto our latest news, it seems Hamburger Hotel is slowly gaining traction!"

Tom laughed, shaking his head. "No, no, it's called Trashbin Hotel, Katie!"

Katie merely laughed, a short, grating noise. "It's definitely Choking Hazard Hotel."

Tom waved his hand. "More like Hazbin Hotshit."

Katie grinned. "What did Bob call it last night? Shitfuck Manor? Shitbin BnB? Shartbin Motel?

Tom laughed, leaning back in his chair. "It's more like the Hotel That Has."

Katie's head tilted to the side, her neck snapping loudly. "Has what, Tom?"

Tom snickered. "Herpes! Might as well rename it Herpes Hotel!"

Katie laughed, shkaing her head slightly. "Well it is quite the Garbagebin Hotel!"

Charlie sunk down into the cushions as she listened to them insult the hotel. Hagbin Hotel, Hazy Hopscotch, Radio Trashbin, Horseshit Hootel, Hazeebie Hotel, Hoo Hah Hot-Hell Motel, Haribo Hotel, Buttbin Hotel were few amongst the many others. She was nearly in tears and her hot cocoa had gone cold by the time Vaggie wandered out.

Vaggie frowned as she looked between Charlie and the television and sat down, gently hugging her shoulders and guiding the mug out of her hands to set it on the coffee table. "Oh no, what's wrong, sweetie?"

Charlie sniffled and hugged her waist, tucking her face in Vaggie's shoulder. "They're being so cruel."

Vaggie kissed her temple and looked up at the television, frowning as she rubbed Charlie's back. Katie and Tom were currently talking about the residents. And they were having fun, that was for sure.

Katie was currently talking. "Oh, they all look like eyebleeding neon demons! Especially, oh what's the ugly little minions name? Niffity?"

Tom cackled, shaking his head. "Oh no, you definitely mean the whore spider who does crack. Angel Cake?"

Katie snickered. "Oh yes, Angelo, the 'Spidie-Man'. It's not a mystery if the whole place is infested with STD's!"

The camera man audibly laughed and then called out, "How about that ugly manager? Vannie? Valian? Viagra?"

Katie grinned, leaning in with her chin in her hands. "Oh, yes, Valerie, Venus, Valentine, Vionna, Virge, Valian, whatever the ugly little moth is called. She can absolutely rot for all anyone cares!"

Tom nodded. "It's really a mystery why Charlotte doesn't just dump her for someone better."

Katie snorted, rolling her eyes. "Oh, yes, Charlotte. Lucifer knows she's probably sucking on that stupid bean pole predatory eye bleeding bitch Asslester's cock. He could choke on his dumb fork antlers."

Tom sipped his coffee, sighing softly. "She must be sleeping with Alan Staron for him to willingly help her. No one gets a demon like him just by being 'cute'!"

Katie twitched. "Uh huh, cut to commercial!"

Vaggie turned off the tv as the news ended, frowning as Charlie sobbed loudly into her shoulder. "Oh, babe, I'm so sorry. They're shit reporters anyway."

Angel Dust frowned deeply as he lingered in the doorway, all of his arms crossed. "They're lower than shit, honestly. C'mon, Charlie, perk up. It's weird, seein' you cry like this."

Charlie clung to Vaggie, practically wailing. Vaggie held her tightly and rubbed her back, gently swaying her side to side. Angel shifted and sat on the arm on the couch, awkwardly patting Charlie's back.

Charlie sniffled as she slowly calmed down, rubbing her eyes. "Let's get cleaned up and get ready. Hopefully we'll get some new guests!"

Vaggie smiled softly, lightly kissing her. "Let's do it, babe."


End file.
